We hold inside a lot of aches.

A lot of “what if”-s and “but, maybe”-s.

A few “if only”-s, a lot of “I wish”.

And one or two of “I won’t”

“can’t let this go”

“can’t let this die”

“can’t let this stay in the past”

“I’ll carry it with me, forever”

“I refuse to face the truth that it is, in fact, over.”

What will it do to you if you let it go?

What does it say about you, your life?

If you let THAT one go, what will be left of you?

I know that for me it feels like dying.

I’ve carried it with me for a long time

And I did not let it go into the dead dreams pile.

But it’s been dead for years and years.

The story that plays inside my head says this:

If I let THAT one go

It means I failed.

Failed at life.

Failed at whatever my mission on Earth was.

Failed at everything, to the point where I almost have no purpose.

And what is left of me?

Oh, man!  Just nothingness.

THAT one kind of kept me alive.

But that is just a story.

A really loud one, but still… just a story.

The truth is I’ve come so far from where I’ve died.

Because, yes, I did die when that dream died.

But I have risen from the ashes and kept on going.

I’ve taken mountain after mountain and didn’t stop one second.

And purpose?  I’ve lost sight of that one every now and then

But I found meaning in the little things.

Today a different kind of purpose is forming before my eyes.

A bigger one.  An undreamed one.  This one is beyond me.

And I can’t even say I failed.

Now looking back, it only shows that God knew better.

I failed to obtain the good, but I am reaching for the best.

No turning back.

No more carrying the past into the present.

No more of this thinking that my best life was back when.

And to my precious lifelong dream:

I let you go.  I’ll let you be.

You have been beautiful, back then.

A great chapter in my history.

A joy to read.

Here, you’re free to go..

My hands are free.

Time has been unrippled.

Space has been untangled.

Heart has been untwined.

Tomorrow has finally come.