A memory from the past

Awoke me this morning.

It was more like time traveling

– through a dream –

In a world where I was 14,

And didn’t trust a single soul.

Oh, what a troubled time!

I had people around me,

I can’t say I was alone.

But every single one of them

Made fun of who I was.

Or so I thought then.

This morning God embarked me

On a trip down memory lane.

And we re-lived some awful times,

But now He, too, was there.

It wasn’t me against the world. Not anymore.

In every point of my history,

I now could see,

There was at least one human being

Who believed in me.

But because of the mocking,

And because of the shame,

I trusted nobody

And questioned everything.

If someone even tried to come near me

Or if they dared show me they cared,

I would accuse them of ulterior motives

And pushed them all away.

As I looked at myself

Down through the years

I could identify each one of those

I hurt wrongfully.

I am so repentant!

I wish I saw then

What I’ve seen today.

I wish I would’ve responded

To their investment.

Who would I have been

If I had accepted

What they had to give?

My Jesus then, took me again

Through each and every moment

And turned my face towards the few

Who were worth knowing.

As I connected with each one

I could feel their motives.

All of their love and authenticity

Healed some of my brokenness.

Go figure! I was loved!

The script is still in the rewriting

I can yet feel things turning.

But once each memory’s rewritten

Who will I be?

My God, you’ve done some big, great things

And changed my life in so many ways

But this, today, I can’t explain it –

It changed the core of who I am.

I can look behind me and see love.

I can look around me and feel love.

I gaze into the future and all I can see

Is You, THE Love, surrounding me!

It’s always been You.